Beware of this Real Cibai Hacker

Found this somewhere online today. Darn funny. He is a real joker not h4x0r… really made my day.

Hope it’s not too long for you guys. You might want to skip the front part and go straight to the conversation in IRC.
Enjoy :p

Dangerous Hacker!, The Bitchchecker Story

Never guessed this would have gotten this amount of traffic. This is the story about a hacker who had little problems…

Original from the german site, story can be found here:…php?storyid=184, please include this link if you repost this anywhere (site might be down, quite a lot of people are reading this). I, Cochrane, did not write this. I only translated it. Some people seem to get that wrong, it was Elch from who first published this log.

In case you don’t speak german (just as this hacker), I’ve tried a little translation to english. I might have made some spelling errors, but the original spelling wasn’t perfect either. The guy really said “buy buy” in the german version. I’ve posted this on the forum on before, so if this looks familiar, might be the same. I’ve corrected some mistakes and put the < > back to the right version (The DC forum does not support them). All censoring was done by this particular forum here.

Notice that in germany we get DST earlier than in the US.

The story starts (I’m shortcutting here) with an [Please control your cussing] insulting everyone on the IRC channel. Most people there believed it was rather funny. To quote him: “we [Please control your cussing] satanists victims winos like you in the *** every day” (this did not make sense in german, either. The translator). But it got even more funny.

For information: The dangerous hacker is called bitchchecker and the one being hacked and original author of the comments, who is talking here, is known as Elch. is always the IP-adress of the computer you’re currently using, any request there will return to your computer.


* bitchchecker ( Quit (Ping timeout#)

* bitchchecker ( has joined #stopHipHop

< bitchchecker > why do you kick me

< bitchchecker > can’t you discus normally

< bitchchecker > answer!

< Elch > we didn’t kick you

< Elch > you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker ( Quit (Ping timeout#)

< bitchchecker > what ping man

< bitchchecker > the timing of my pc is right

< bitchchecker > i even have dst

< bitchchecker > you banned me

< bitchchecker > amit it you son of a bitch

< HopperHunter|afk > LOL

< HopperHunter|afk > **** you’re stupid, DST^^

< bitchchecker > shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!

< bitchchecker > for two weaks already

< bitchchecker > when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.

< Elch > You’re a real computer expert

< bitchchecker > shut up i hack you

< Elch > ok, i’m quiet, hope you don’t show us how good a hacker you are ^^

< bitchchecker > tell me your network number man then you’re dead

< Elch > Eh, it’s

< Elch > or maybe

< Elch > yes exactly that’s it: I’m waiting for you great attack

< bitchchecker > in five minutes your hard drive is deleted

< Elch > Now I’m frightened

< bitchchecker > shut up you’ll be gone

< bitchchecker > i have a program where i enter your ip and you’re dead

< bitchchecker > say goodbye

< Elch > to whom?

< bitchchecker > to you man

< bitchchecker > buy buy

< Elch > I’m shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you

* bitchchecker ( Quit (Ping timeout#)

What happened is clear: That guy entered his own IP-Adress in his mighty Hack-Tool and crashed his own PC. This way, the attack on my PC was a failure. I was already starting to think that I did not have to worry, but a good hacker never calls it a day. Two minutes later he returned.


* bitchchecker ( has joined #stopHipHop

< bitchchecker > dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you’d be gone

< Metanot > lol

< Elch > bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again… I still have the same IP:

< bitchchecker > you’re so stupid man

< bitchchecker > say buy buy

< Metanot > ah, [Please control your cussing] off

< bitchchecker > buy buy elch

* bitchchecker ( Quit (Ping timeout#)

There was a tension in the room… Would he manage, after these two failures, to crash my PC? I waited. Nothing happened. I felt relieve… Six minutes passed by until he prepared the next wave of attack. Being a Hacker, who usually cracks whole data centers, he knew what his problem was now.


* bitchchecker ( has joined #stopHipHop

< bitchchecker > elch you son of a bitch

< Metanot > bitchchecker how old are you?

< Elch > What’s up bitchchecker?

< bitchchecker > you have a frie wal

< bitchchecker > fire wall

< Elch > maybe, i don’t know

< bitchchecker > i’m 26

< Metanot > such behaviour with 26?

< Elch > how did you find out that I have a firewall?

< Metanot > tststs this is not very nice missy

< bitchchecker > because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me

< bitchchecker > be a man turn that **** off

< Elch > cool, didn’t know this was possible.

< bitchchecker > thn my virus destroys your pc man

< Metanot > are you hacking yourselves?

< Elch > yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me

< Metanot > he bitchchecker if you’re a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that

< bitchchecker > yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the

< Metanot > what firewall do you have?

< bitchchecker > like a girl

< Metanot > firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it…you girl^^

< He > Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you’re letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time

< bitchchecker > turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er

< Elch > Noo

< Metanot > he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off

< bitchchecker > you’re afraid

< bitchchecker > i don’t wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall

< bitchchecker > elch turn off your **** wall!

< Metanot > i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that’s an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking

< bitchchecker > shut up

< Metanot > lol

< bitchchecker > my grandma surfs with fire wall

< bitchchecker > and you suckers think you’re cool and don’t dare going into the internet without a fire wall

He calls me girly and says only his grandma would use a firewall. I know that elder people are much more intelligent then younger, but I couldn’t let that rest. To see whether he really is a good hacker I lie and let everything as it is. I don’t have a firewall at all, only my router.


< Elch > bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again

< Metanot > bitchhacker can’t hack

< Black > nice play on words ^^

< bitchchecker > wort man

< Elch > bitchchecker: I’m still waiting for your attack!

< Metanot > how many times again he is no hacker

< bitchchecker > man do you want a virus

< bitchchecker > tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive

< Metanot > lol ne give it up i’m a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you’re no hacker..^^

< Elch >

< Elch > it’s easy

< bitchchecker > lolololol you so stupid man you’ll be gone

< bitchchecker > and are the first files being deleted

< Elch > mom…

< Elch > i’ll take a look

In panic I started the Windows Explorer, my heart beating faster. Had I under-estimated him?


< bitchchecker > don’t need to rescue you can’t son of a bitch

< Elch > that’s bad

< bitchchecker > elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted

< Elch > yes, there’s nothing i can do about it

< bitchchecker > and in 20 seconds f: is gone

Yes, true, G: and F: were gone. Did I ever have them? Doesn’t matter, I did not have time to think, I was scared. bitchchecker was comforting me with a music tip.


< bitchchecker > tupac rules

< bitchchecker > elch you son of a bitch your f: is gone and e: too

Drive E:? Oh my god… All the games are there! And the vacation pictures! I instantly take a look. Everything still there. But the hacker said it was deleted….

Or isn’t it happening on my computer?


< bitchchecker > and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol

< He > why doesn’t meta say anything

< Elch > he’s probably rolling on the floor laughing

< Black > ^^

< bitchchecker > your d: is gone

< He > go on BITCH

The guy is good: My CD-drive is allegedly deleted! Bitchchecker turned my ancient disk sucker into a burner! But how did he do this? I’ll have to ask him. Some encourage him. He himself is giving advice how to avoid the disaster on my hard drives.


< bitchchecker > elch man you’re so stupid never give your ip on the internet

< bitchchecker > i’m already at c: 30 percent

Should I tell him he’s not attacking my computer?


* bitchchecker ( Quit (Ping timeout#)

Too late… It’s 20:22 when we get the last message of our hacker with the alias “bitchchecker”. We see that he has a “Ping timeout”. We haven’t seen him since then… must be the Daylight Saving Time.

Notice: We are well completely aware that maybe bitchchecker was just playing a game with us. He also claimed to have german as his major field of study.


< bitchchecker > shut up man i have advanced german

Added by the translator: I completely forgot the last notice – sorry. His german is about as bad as my translation of it (this was intended). Notice that the german expression “Leistungskurs” (the most advanced course you can take in the kind of school that prepares you for university) can not really be translated into english. I tried with “advanced” and “major field of study”, hope it fits.

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